I'm kind of glad that she's not home, and won't be coming home for at least 4 weeks. I'm glad for her. I think that everyone will be able to just settle the fuck down before we all scream at her. And what good would that do? It seems the damage is done, ya know?

Some of you know that I myself was in her EXACT position about 12 years ago. (Except not in rehab, though maybe I should have been.) My junior year of high school I smoked alot of weed. I know, you are all thinking, everyone does. But... I did it before school, at lunch, and after school. I had been a straight A student up until that year, but I had a very "rough" boyfriend and I started rolling downhill very, very fast. I was drinking alot and didn't really know what to do with myself. My grades were something like 5 F's, a D, and an Incomplete at the end of my junior year. Me, who was always in the "gifted students" program, wanted to drop out of high school.

Then, I found out I was pregnant. I was 17 and a half.

Some of my family members told me that I was so stupid. Some of them yelled at me and said they didn't want a neice/nephew/cousin who had half of its DNA from that stupid boy.

Not my mom. You know what she did? She immediately hugged me and said these exact words: Well, I guess we're going to have a baby then.

Not YOU ARE, WE ARE.

She knew before I did that I had probably saved my own life.

I never again smoked weed. I stopped drinking. I (mostly, and eventually, completely) broke up with the loser.

WE had a baby.

My family and I did.

God, I love my mom.

... is all I have to say. For two days, I just keep repeating this phrase. OH HOLY FUCK.

There might have been a couple of WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. Or one or two OH MY FUCKING GOD's.

What is happening to warrant this potty mouth, you might ask?

You all know my little sister, the brat who likes to make our lives hell. Finally, her diversion officer was able to put her little ass into rehab. She turned 18 on Saturday, and she left on Thursday. I am a little sad, but I am so hopeful that it will truly help her. She really has tried to be good, although I think the last week(s) before she left she was, again, doing drugs.

I was eating lunch with my hubby yesterday and my mom called me. She called to tell me that Brianna's counselor had just called her with the news that SHE IS PREGNANT. They said she's about two months along (though I have no idea how they figure, since Brianna couldn't say when her last period was.)

See? OH HOLY FUCK. (repeat) OH HOLY FUCK.

I really haven't been feeling well lately. I've been hurting for quite some time now. If I were to be perfectly honest, I think it started back in December. Last year December. Around that time, I had some major pain in my left side that made me pee-pee blood for a few days. But, I didn't have health insurance at that time due to my switching jobs and did not go to the doctor. In February, when my insurance kicked in, I went, and was told that I probably had the "beginnings of a kidney infection" with the only clinical symptom being blood in my pee-pee water. I took antibiotics.

Off and on since then, I have had this pain in my left side. I have actually been to the doctor twice since then, and once was given muscle relaxers, for "back muscle spasms." The second time I suggested Kidney? Stones? Maybe? and finally got a few x-rays. I was told I was full of shit and sent home with Miralax. They also scheduled me for an IVP, where they inject you with some dye and do a series of x-rays of your kidneys and bladder. That was two weeks ago. The x-ray techs said to go home, the doctor reading the x-rays didn't see anything, you idiotic moron with fake pain. (Ok, they didn't say that last part, but I heard it in their voices.)

All of that brings me to yesterday. Where I woke up in some major severe hurty pain, in my left side. I waited about 4 hours until my husband came home for lunch, and I told him that I was hurting, badly. I called the doctor's office and was told she was out of the office. Dan said I should probably go to the emergency room, and I scoffed. Then he reminded me that I had pain that was not relieved with two doses of Tylenol, two Aleves, and one Lortab 5/500, and maybe someone should know about that. I would have been happy at home to cry in silence about the pain, but instead I drove myself to the hospital to wait in ER for a while. I actually asked to go to Express Care when I got to the desk, and I did, at first. After my initial triage, the nurse said, "Actually? I think I'll take you to the ER side." I'm all like, in my head, thinking, "ER costs so much more than Express care... I only rated my pain at a 7... my blood pressure was kinda high... I'm sure the ARNP in Express care can give me something for pain."
So, I sat and waited in ER. They got a urine sample and left me there for a while. Finally the doc comes around and POKES AROUND WITH HIS SAUSAGE FINGERS, BUT THAT FELT MORE LIKE KNIVES. He tells me, confidently, that I've most likely got a bladder infection, they're waiting for the UA. In my head, I'm screaming, I DON'T HAVE THAT!, but I actually say, Ok, sure.

After the UA comes back with, wait for it... BLOOD IN MY URINE, I get some lab drawn. After the lab says I'm NOT PREGNANT, I finally get an abdominal CT.

This is where all hell breaks loose.

I get back from CT and the nurses start rushing to put me into a gown and start an IV. They aren't telling me that I'm about to go to surgery, but I kinda figure that out. And I forgot my cell. So, when I'm alone for a second, I get on the hospital phone to try to find someone to come out and be with me, because you can't go for surgery alone! Dan was just about to get off of work when I call, and he's all, "But I have football practice with the kids tonight..." That's husband of the year right there. I finally get my dad to come. When my dad gets there, the urologist comes in and draws me a picture of my kidneys and bladder with an enlarged URETER and a VERY BIG KIDNEY STONE stuck right in the middle of it. Above the kidney stone the ureter is stressed beyond stressed, and the doctor is sure it's blocked totally, and the KIDNEY STONE IS TWO INCHES LONG AND A HALF INCH WIDE, um, stuck in there but good. Around this time, I think, it's not a kidney stone, it's a Kidney Stick. They have to get it out. But, apparently the laser machine that they need to cut it up is in WICHITA, and they have to send for it, or something, so all I got was a tube to bypass the stone from my kidney to my bladder. Which has helped with the pain... alot. I can't have the stone removed until Tuesday, because that's when the laser machine comes in.

The nurse in ER is all, "You are one tough woman. We get men in here with a tiny peice of sand in their kidney, and they are WRITHING in pain. You just walked in here!" Nobody knows the half of it. Mostly? No one takes me seriously.