I'm Kind of a Big Deal
I'm just so full of awesome that I had to get some of it out.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I'm still waiting for a date.

I will call my wonderful new RE on CD1 and will schedule the surgery for a day between CD 8-10. I'm thinking Aug. 12 or 15th.

My DON at work (director of nursing) is leaving for vaca this Friday for two weeks. That means I have to find my own coverage for time off of work, since I don't know what date exactly or how long I'll be off. If anyone knows anything about trying to find a nurse to work for you, you will realize how much this sucks.

Another thing. I'm a research whore. I love knowledge, and my head is filled with it; expecially now. I've been staying up late to google everything ever written about endo and whether to do the lupron therapy afterwards. Most of what I've found recommends the lupron, but if you look at the sources, these are usually found on websites for "fertility centers." Right after lupron, they also recommend you have IVF or something like that, which is NOT an option for me at present. (cuz I HAVE NO MONEY- and then there's that whole "it's against my religion" nonsense.) So, I don't know whether to trust them due to ulterior motives.

Most of the research I'm actually taking as valid is what I'm reading in archives of different message boards for endo. Cuz these are the girls who know. (most of them, anyway, cuz some people are just idiots.) Did you all know that the FDA recommends only ONE 6-month cycle of Lupron for your whole life?? Do I want to play that card now, or later??? Another thing, much of what I'm reading is that right after a lap to remove the endo is when you have the best chance to conceive. Like, the first 6 months (cuz it always comes back). So, if I get the lupron, does that take away the 6 month window, or does the lupron therapy add to it? I'm having a hard time finding true, believable answers to these questions.

One alarming peice of info I found is that endometriomas in your ovaries decrease your egg quality. What if my eggs suck after this? What if I have zero chance to get pregnant anyway? What if my body is one of the ones missing the Selectin-L enzyme that is necessary for an embryo to implant? What if I'm still in pain after the surgery? What the fuck am I gonna do? When is enough enough?

What if the doc recommends a hysterectomy? I'll die. Can I sue somebody? Like my first GP who blew me off and said I had GAS? I've got your "GAS" right here buddy.

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On another note, I'm starting a second job soon, like right after the surgery. This job has insurance. Good BCBS insurance, with no pre-existing condition clause, I'm told. But, I have to work full time there to qualify. It's overnight hours. I was only going to work two nights a week for extra money, but I'm leaning toward taking a full-time position there. Currently I'm working full-time evenings and the kids are about to start school, meaning I won't see them, ever. Also, this new job pays $1.25 an hour more. Should I switch? Should I work part time evenings (at my current place) and full time overnights (at the new place)??

Posted by some girl at 8/02/2005 10:53:00 AM |

3 Comments:

At Tuesday, August 02, 2005 5:52:00 PM, Blogger barb said........
Oh Geeze Steph! Talk about a full plate. I wish I had some answers about the endo for you, but I know nothing about the subject. It sounds like you are doing a great job researching it. Sorry to hear you and DH had such a blow out, but so happy it turned out the way it did. I think we need a good swift kick in the pants sometimes to appreciate what is right in front of us. Hugs to you. I hope you find clarity soon.
 


At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 3:32:00 AM, Blogger Carol P said........
Wow. Um... first the endo... all I know about Lupron is that it is supposed to suppress endo from spreading (re-appearing after lap). If you did use Lupron for six months, I would think the six months after it would be equally fertile as the first six months after lap without Lupron. But, I don't have a lot to go on for this opinion.

Second - the job. Do whatever job will give you the most time with your family. Money is great and (believe me I know) very much a necessity, but that 1.25 per hour won't seem as important YEARS from now if you weren't able to enjoy in your childrens lives the way you wanted to.

Third - sounds like Mr. Future has secured his place in the past like he was supposed to do. Sometimes we need to bring them into the present just to "shake things up" a bit and really figure out what we want. Sounds like an adventure with your hubby - but hope you are satisfied with the results.
 


At Wednesday, August 03, 2005 5:46:00 PM, Blogger Kether said........
Everyone always says all the great stuff before I arrive on the scene. Ditto what Barb and Zeeks said.
I'd go with the job where you can see the kids more. Glad things are back on track with hubby.
You continue to be in my prayers for relief from the endo.