I didn't want to tell you all this in such a quick post, but I don't have time to give out the whole story.

So, Um, finally I saw a doctor today who actually knows his ass from a hole in the ground.

After a brief consultation, I had a date with the dildo cam. (Which, by the way, is kinda weird with your husband in the room, who has no idea they even DO THAT.) He pointed out my ovaries and follicles. Then he said, "see this? This is an endometrioma. It's almost covering this ovary. Oh, look at this other ovary. That endometrioma is much larger. That is a classic sign, basically diagnostic, of severe endometriosis."

So, he tells me, I have stage 4 endo. Highly unusual, getting diagnosed over an u/s.

Game plan- surgery!!!

Hysteroscopy to take out the fibroid tumor that is taking up residence inside my uterus, and Laproscopy to take out ALL THE FUCKING ENDO.

Mid-August.

YIPPPPPPEEEEEE!

I'm on my way to see Avril Lavigne in concert.

Aren't you jealous?

BTW, this is when it's good to have a ten-year-old daughter-- an excuse.

July 28th.

That's the day I go to Jenn's fine city to see another doctor. But this isn't just "another doctor." My doctor is sending me to an RE for the following, and I quote, "Pelvic mass, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Dysmenorrhea, and Uterine Fibroids." I also quote, from the doctor to the nurse, "When you make her appointment, tell them I would like her to see Dr. InCharge and not one of his associates, and tell him I am requesting surgery. Also, tell them I would like to be present at the surgery."

Sounds great.

You ask, I answer.

My mom is really ok, so far, so we are told. It just might be some sort of GI problem, but she's going in for a cardiac stress test to be sure her heart is ok. But we think it is.

Secondly, my test today went ok. So far. I think. All I know at this point is that "banana-smoothie-flavored barium" does not a good breakfast make. Especially when you gag on it, in front of a waiting room full of people, getting it all over your clothes, face, and hands. Then try to drink the rest of the 20 ounces of it. The Iodine IV wasn't too bad, though. I forgot how much IV's hurt! Damn! Iodine kinda makes you warm all over, especially in your already-warm places. Weird.

I go see the doc on Friday morning, hopefully to get some sort of plan. I actually have NO IDEA of the results of today's CT because they're all hush-hush during the test. I'm sure hoping I get sent the hell outta this town, though.

Me.
And I guess that includes my husband, too, since he's the guy I've been fuckin' for 9 years.

Sheesh.

I'd like to send out a HUGE CONGRATS to Cara on the birth of twins! Yahoooooo!
I'd also like to send out big hugs and a wish for a speedy labor to Janet.

I've had a rough week.

First, I find out about this foreign mass lodged in my belly. (Which, incidently, isn't a baby... Which, incidently again, would be the only foreign mass lodged in my belly that I would welcome.)
Secondly, my daughter has the Strep. 104 degree temp for three days- and it only dropped down to a manageable 101 with Motrin. But she's getting better now.
Thirdly, I spent most of Thursday in the hospital with my mom, who thought she was having a heart attack. When I arrived at the ER to meet my dad, my mom was PASSED STRAIGHT THE FUCK OUT with a very low BP and pulse after her third Nitro pill. I walk in to three nurses and a doctor huddled around her, pushing drugs to get them (her pulse and BP) back up. For a few minutes I thought I was gonna lose my mommy. But that all turned out ok.

I'm on my 6th straight day of work, and I have one more to go. I'm fucking tired.

My patience is wearing thin. I mean, after more than 7 years, I suppose I am getting closer to actually obtaining a diagnosis.

But today, right now, at this point, "it could be any number of things."

Nope, not amused.

Good news is*, I have to go to yet another test- a CT scan with contrast. I'll be dining on a light breakfast of Barium that day. Yum. It's not scheduled yet, so I'll update as soon as I know.

According to the doc, the "mass" isn't the former fibroid. They found that, and it is "similar in size" as it was last year. No, this mass is Something Else. Hopefully, you can understand my confusion since this Something Else basically covered and displaced my uterus, fallopian tube, and ovary.

At first I was told it "just might have been some bowel." "But," he said, "if that was the case, the mass wouldn't be there today. And, you were born in (flipping through chart) 76 so it's extremely unlikely that it's cancer." (But it's very important you get the CT scan, soon. I was told.) So, I stripped out of my skivvies and got to enjoy the wonderlust that is the Painful Pelvic Exam, now with exciting and new Gonorrhea Swabbing!**

He says he definitely feels the mass. It's soft. (Therefore unlikely to be bowel.)

But, since I would like to preserve my fertility, if it is a problem such as a "penduculated fibroid tumor" or "a large mass of endometrial tissue" I will be sent to an RE in Wichita. A subspecialist, he calls him. (Jenn, are you out there? Do you know this man whose name starts with a G? Please tell me everything if this happens to be the RE you went to.) My doc admits he wouldn't be comfortable operating since so much is at stake here. Meaning he actually cares if I keep my uterus or not. Score!

* HA! As if any of this shit is good news.
** "Not that I think you would have gonorrhea, and if you did, I know it wouldn't be your fault."
I was told... What the fuck ever, I was naked and in no position to argue.
*** Updated to add: My CT scan will be next Tuesday morning. I'll find out the results probably next Friday.